Majesticles

I sat up in my room one day,
And glanced down at my testicles.
I thought "cor blimey, these are great!"
And christened them majesticles.
Of course, I'm not alone in this
And so I thought about the resticles.

There are exorcists who drive out ghosts,
Who have a pair of possessedicles.
Rioters, hippies and political activists
All sport marvellous protesticles.
The Pope, hidden beneath his frock,
Has a heavenly set of blessedicles.
And cowboys, why they of course
Have powerful Wild Westicles.

Emos cram into their skinny jeans
Some pitiful depressedicles,
Policemen on a daily basis,
Fiddle with their arresticles.
DJs at the discos are inclined
To take requesticles.
And Northerners hold cans of Stella
Alongside their string-vesticles.

Rats and termites, wasps and flies
Have their little pesticles,
For Stalkers following their victims:
Tightly drawn obsessedicles.
Basil Fawlty had much trouble
Dealing with his guesticles,
Comedians, if controversial,
Are proud of all their jesticles.

If I've left you out, don't worry
Or you may end up with stressedicles.
If you can think of more, please do!
And send me your suggesticles.
All men have them, young and old,
All through their life long questicles.
And if you haven't got a pair,
Instead, you should have breasticles.

by Rhys Laverty